Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Merry I Hate You & A Happy WTF!?!

It's that time of year again. When relatives from near and far gather together at the bequest of Mother 'Everyone-Must-Get-Along' & Father 'Just-Appease-Her-For-One-Day'. People you have avoided seeing all year are suddenly right in front of you, shoving packages decorated with Holly and bitterness. Nothing says the Holidays more than a few spiteful glances over the Christmas Turkey, or an "accidental" singe with a Menorah candle.

No matter what kind of personal woes or tribulations we may be suffering, one is oft requested to hold it at bay while we 'enjoy' the Season. We're crammed within the 4 walls that conceal our childhood dreams where the heat is set at 90 while we itch in our wool reindeer accented personal hells. Our digestive tracks are taxed with both the rich and revolting. The greatest and much mis-managed escape is the ample flow of liquor at our disposal (that is, if Uncle Albert and his Gin Blossoms haven't gotten to it first). Intoxication can be the hot spark that lights the fuse to this bomb filled with tinsel and acrimony.

Much of what is said here is tongue in cheek, but I pull no punches in stating that a family as large as mine (8 siblings with 4 divorces) comes with some angst in the Egg Nog. What is written above is not an accurate portrayal, but the G----- Holiday dinner never fails to be served with at least a side dish of disapproval. Find me a family without even the teensiest bit of disfunction, and I'll find you a group of people in severe denial...OR they're robits.

Not all things about the Holidays are full of resentment and hostility. Most of my happiest memories come from this time of year. They are a fuzzy, rose colored glow scented with peppermint and pine. That feeling of nostalg hits me right between the eyes with every remembered gift. There was the Barbie Dream House that was taller then me, and the powder blue satin Shawn Cassidy jacket (Oh god how I wish I had that NOW!), or the All Muppet Show Christmas - stuffed Kermit and a Miss Piggy hand puppet dressed in lavender.

My own little satellite of a family has changed quite dramatically this year. My exh was from out of state, so our Christmas was always spent with my family. My New and Improved husband ("Now with Respect and A Soul!") was adopted and raised as an only child. He has connected with his own fabulous crew of a birth family AND there's the super bonus of a step-daughter in the mix. That's three new families added to my Jesus Birthday visit list, which causes a bit of sticky widget for me. This year his family wins in the tug of war. Next year, it's back to the lions. The lions that purr as much as they growl.

Maybe next year it'll be Christmas in L.A.

Next - Why 8 Yr Old Me Found Frosty The Snowman Creepy!