Oh The Bloganity!

My blogs are dissapeering from MySpace instead of being archived.  This disturbs as I had been treating it as a diary of sorts.  the biggest 'heartbreak' of loss was a blog I posted about a day trip I took with jonny well before we were dating.  *tear*  I am now going to attempt to save said blogs by moving them here.  So I now bring you 'archived Trixi'....

'Sunday, january 20, 2008

REST IN PEACE SPECK(TACULAR)

Just a wee blog to say goodbye to the sweetest Zen kitty on the planet.  Dear Speck (kitty number 3) went for the big tuna in the sky on January 2nd.  He was ill for some time, and I had to make the heart wrenching decision to put him down before he started to suffer too badly.  It's really hard to bring a cat that is showing so much life to his end .  Knowing that those moments int he car and at the vet are the last you'll have with them.

He hated going to the vet and protested his woeful meows the entire way.  My vet is kind and the office is full of good people.  They handled my tears with tenderness and they let me take all the time I wanted to say my goodbyes.  It was hard to hear those last meows as they wound down with the effects of the sedative.  It was hard to look him in the eyes as they glazed over with the drugs, and know that he was seeing his last.  I pet his fur and scratched the scruff of his neck like he always loved.  I whispered to him about how of a kitty he was and of how much I loved him until well after he was gone.  I hope he heard me.

Everything has been a whirlwind since the first of the year and this is the first moment that I've had to breathe.  I blog about him now because tonight I feel him missing more than ever.  I was lucky to have him in my life for 14 years.  He deserved a much more dignified end than to have a weeping tumor on his head.  I'm sorry that I could not have given him an end in a warm place with everything familiar around him.  I'm sorry that his 'dad' left a year ago and was unable to be there for the final goodbyes.  God speed Speck the Zen Kitty.  I hope you're a superhero where ever you are and get lot's of juicy tuna steaks.  Your magic Powers will be your fierce head butts that demand affection.

xoxoxoxoxox

trix'

Wow - way to start on a down note.  Well, shake it off and go pet a puppy (my 'cure-all' for all sadness).