Friday, October 22, 2010

Top 10 Scariest Films Of All Time Trixi-Style (in honor of Halloween)


Halloween is my favorite Holiday. I even married the love of my life on that Holiday just so we could have a lifetime of spooky, themed anniversary parties. In honor of the glorious pending Holiday, and as part of some kind of wacky social networking game, my circle has been sharing our list of horror film favorites. What follows is my 'right at this moment' list, with the usual Trixi-type insight. Feel free to ignore my under-qualified, but very passionate, observations.

1) The Excorcist - Films about demon possessions* scare the living Be-Jesus out of me. I have a steadfast rule that I will only watch this movie while there's daylight....on a Sunday.

2) Evil Dead - The first time I saw this was at a slumber party when I was 12. I watched the entire film while peeping through a tiny sliver from underneath my sleeping bag. From the very beginning it had me with that marvelous low-budget, grainy camera work and muffled boom mics that made it feel like the characters were speaking to me through a fog. Starring 'the man with the handsomest profile in Hollywood' - Bruce Cambell.

3) Fright Night - Two words: Roddy McDowell. The soon to come remake has David Tennant playing Peter Vincent. Though I LOVE Tennant, I'm just too devoted to RM to see anyone else playing that role. This has 80's written all over it. The wardrobe. The all-too-perfectly sweet girlfriend. The hero that shouldn't be a hero. Chris Saradon's smug handsomeness, with just a hint of homosexual subtext between him and Jonathan Stark's character. And Evil Ed. Neat sidenote - The director for the remake directed some ep's of 'US of Tara'. He parked next to me on the studio lot. His first words to me were 'mind my car'. He's a funny, sweet guy with a great eye & enough of a sense of humor that he'll do right by the remake.
'You're so cool, Brewster!"

4) The Birds - I'm a HUGE Hitch fan. His work is the reason why I studied film in college. His catalogue is more 'suspense' than horror, but I had to give a shout-out. Also, aside from the crow attack scene in Damien:Omen II, the tip-toeing through the turtledoves scenes at the end are the creepiest bird related bits of cinema ever. It still sends shivers, and causes me to eye our local robins with cautious suspicion. Finally, the chemistry between Rod Taylor and Tippi Hedren is super hot!

5) Cloverfield - FREAKED MY SHIT OUT! Saw this in the theater in West Hollywood, where the crowd can be a little more savvy when it comes to film ("Industry People" *sniff*). The reaction when the credits were rolling - stunned silence. Jonny had to peal me off the walls after this one. The handheld, character p.o.v. camera work that caused motions sickness to some movie goers, only added to the 'This IS ALL REAL' feeling for the extremely terrified audience. There's a moment when the monster looks right into the eye of the camera from high above that made me almost hide under my seat. Another side note - Cody's biz manager's offices were on Cloverfield. It always made me uneasy to visit there...and then I saw the film.

6) Alien - In space, no one can hear you scream.

7) Nightmare On Elm Street - Anyone in my generation that does not have this on their list needs to turn in their 'Modern Horror Film Buff' card. It was dark and erie and fun. Also - Jonny Depp in a blender.

8) Happy Birthday To Me - More slumber party fodder in which Mary from Little House On The Prairie goes bananas as a secret evil twin. The death scenes are cringe worthy, if not a bit cheesy. A weightliftng set? Really? This one is a 'right of passage' for every girl's sweet 16 party.

9) House of Wax (1953) - Vincent Price had to be somewhere on the list! I was VERY young when I saw this on TV (minus the 3-D effects that are so obvious in hindsight). I think it might have been my first introduction to the genre of horror, and I was terrified. The scene where the victim in wax is recognized by her earrings totally disturbs me.

10 ) War of The Worlds (1953) - Though it's really more of a Sci-Fi than horror film, it is hands down one of my favorite films of all time. The alien ships, the sounds, the special greenish hue that only 50's movies can have. It's all so utterly beautiful. The scene in the farm house just oozes with a kind of suspense that many a film have followed suit since. And our hero is cut of the same chiseled chin cloth that all 50's horror heroes come from. CLASSIC!

*Paranormal Activity makes the honorable mention list, only because when we watched it with Miss N, she didn't flinch once. This labels me a wimp, and pushes this demon possession film out of the top 10 running. Another add - ALL Hammer Horror Films. They're too much of a genre of their own that I could not single out 1, or even 10 of them. Rocky Horror Picture Show, being an homage to Hammer in musical form, also makes the list...but in a very silly way. And finally - Susperia. It's use of color and interesting choice of music and set design, gives it a dreamy beauty that makes it more of an art piece than horror to me.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Tiny Buddha Says- Guide To Healing

(warning - a tome of a serious matters is afoot. Gah! I'm SUCH a dork sometimes)

Need some healing in your life? This 10 step guide from tinybuddha.com hits right on the mark! (notes from me to follow)

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-happiness-tips-for-people-who-have-been-hurt/

"10 Happiness Tips for People Who Have Been Hurt

by Lori Deschene
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~Unknown

Maybe someone hurt you physically or emotionally. Maybe you’ve survived something else traumatic–a natural disaster, a fire, an armed robbery. Or maybe you’ve just come out of a trying situation, and though you know you’ll eventually recover, you still feel pain that seems unbearable.
Whatever the case may be, you’ve been scarred, and you carry it with you through many of your days.
Most of us can relate on some level to that feeling. Even people who excel at taking personal responsibility have at least one story of having been hurt. Though some of us have endured more serious situations, you really can’t quantify or compare emotional pain.
To a teenager who just had her heart broken, the pain really seems like the end of the world. In fact, Livestrong estimates that every 100 minutes, a teenager commits suicide–and that the number of suicides in high-income families is the same as in poor families. Presumably, not all of those teens have suffered incomprehensible tragedies. What they have in common is pain, born from different adversities and circumstances.
When you’re hurting some people might tell you to “Suck it up and deal” as if that’s a valid solution. They may say “It’s all in your head” and assume that reasons away the pain. But none of that will help you heal and find happiness from moment to moment.
Like everyone, I’ve been hurt–in both profound and trivial ways. I’ve dealt with it using the following ideas:
1. Define your pain.
It’s not always easy to identify and understand what’s hurting you. Some people even stay in abusive relationships because it’s safer than acknowledging their many layers of pain: the low self esteem that convinces them they deserve abuse; the shame over being treated with such cruelty; the feeling of desperation that convinces them there’s no real way out.
The first step toward finding happiness after having been hurt is to understand why you were hurt; to get to the root of everything that makes the memories hard.
2. Express that pain.
There’s no guarantee you’ll be able to communicate how you feel to the person who hurt you; and if you can, there’s no guarantee they’ll respond how you want them to. Say what you need to say anyways. Write in your journal. Write a letter and burn it. Get it all out.
This will help you understand why you’re hurting–and what you’ll do in the future to avoid similar pain–so you can feel empowered instead of victimized. Research has actually proven that people who focus on lessons learned while journaling find the experience more helpful than people who don’t (focus on lessons).
3. Try to stay in the present.
Reliving the past can be addictive. It gives you the opportunity to do it again and respond differently. To fight back instead of submitting; to speak your mind instead of silencing yourself. It also allows you to possibly understand better. What happened? Where did you go wrong? What should you have done?
In other words, it allows you to torture yourself. Regardless of what you should have done, you can’t do it now. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, you may need professional help to avoid revisiting the incident. If you don’t, you need sustained effort. Fight the urge to relive the pain. You can’t go back and find happiness there. You can only experience that now.
4. Stop telling the story.
It may seem like another way to understand what happened; or maybe it feels helpful to hear someone say you didn’t do anything wrong and you don’t deserve to hurt. In all reality this just keeps you stuck right where you are: living your life around a memory and giving it power to control you.
No amount of reassurance will change what happened. You can’t find happiness by holding onto a painful story, trying to place in new, brighter light. You can only find happiness when you let it go, and make room for something better. You don’t need another person’s permission to let go and feel OK.
5. Forgive yourself.
Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong, but you blame yourself. Or maybe you played a role in creating your current situation. Regardless of what happened, you need to realize what you did is not who you are. And even if you feel immense regret, you deserve to start today without carrying that weight. You deserve a break.
You can either punish yourself and submit to misery, or forgive yourself and create the possibility of happiness. It comes down to whether you decide to dwell or move on. Which do you choose: anger with yourself and prolonged pain, or forgiveness and the potential for peace?

6. Stop playing the blame/victim game.
Maybe you were a victim. Maybe someone did horrible things to you, or you fell into an unfortunate set of circumstances through no fault of your own. It still doesn’t serve you to sit around feeling bad for yourself, blaming other people. In fact, it only holds you back. You can’t feel good if you use this moment to feel bad about another person’s actions.
The only way to experience happiness is to take responsibility for creating it, whether other people made it easy for you or not. You’re not responsible for what happened to you in the past but you’re responsible for your attitude now. Why let someone who hurt you in the past have power over your present?
7. Don’t let the pain become your identity.
If everything you do, and all your relationships center around something that hurt you, it will be harder to move on. You may even come to appreciate what that identity gives you: attention, the illusion of understanding, or the warmth of compassion, for example.
You have to consider the possibility there’s a greater sense of happiness in completely releasing your story. That you’d feel better than you can even imagine if you’d stop letting your pain define you. You can have a sad story in your past without building your present around it.
8. Reconnect with who you were before the pain.
It’s not easy to release a pain identity, particularly if you’ve carried it around for a long time. It may help to remember who you were before that experience–or to consider who you might have become if it hadn’t happened. You can still be that person. That person who doesn’t feel bitter or angry so frequently.
If you want to feel and be peaceful and happy, start by identifying what that looks like. What you think about, what you feel, what you do, how you interact with people. Odds are this process will remind you both how you want to be and how you don’t want to be.
9. Focus on things that bring you joy in the moment.
You don’t have to focus on completely letting go of your pain forever–you just have to make room for joy right now. Start simple. What’s something you can enjoy in this moment, regardless of what pain you’ve experienced? Would sitting in the sun bring you joy? Would calling your sister bring you joy?
Don’t think about the totality of the rest of your days. That’s a massive burden to carry–haven’t you hurt enough? Just focus on now, and allow yourself a little peace. You’ll be surprised how easily “nows” can add up when you focus on them as they come.
10. Share that joy with other people.
People often isolate themselves when they’re hurting because it feels safer than showing people their vulnerability. What they fail to realize is they don’t have to feel vulnerable all the time. You can choose certain people for support, and then allow yourself time with others without involving your painful story.
You can share a meal, a movie, a moment and give yourself a break from your anger or sadness. You don’t have to carry it through every moment of your day. Don’t worry–if you feel you need to remember it, you’ll still be able to recall it later. But as you allow yourself pockets of peace, shared with people you love, you may find you need that story a lot less.
***
Everyone deserves to feel happy. Everyone deserves a little peace. One more thing we all have in common: we can only provide those things for ourselves."

On a personal note -
The step that struck me the most was number 8 -Reconnect With Who You Were Before The Pain. I had spent a couple years too afraid to reconnect with my 'pre-pain' self. In my head, that person was horribly flawed. I mean, why else would I have ended up in such a state if I was not this freakily defective individual? That was absolute poppy-cock! (I just like saying 'cock'). I spent 30 + years becoming that person, why shut them out now? Number 8 is the step I am embracing the most.

These are, of course, all great steps towards healing. They, however, can only work when the individual is ready. During my 'down time', I had a lot of people suggest to me to do many of these things. Unfortunately, when I suffered my emotional trauma, the biggest loss I felt was that of control. The sense of others trying to force healing upon me when I didn't feel ready did not speed the process, because my first instinct was to fight off anything that I felt was further management of my own realm by others - no matter how heartfelt or thoughtful that guidance may have been. It was my silly, gut instinct to push away suggestions because it felt like the only sense of control I had was over my own feelings and healing process. I was in shock, my whole world had changed because of a situation and actions that were not of my own volition. People in shock do not behave with rationale, and the coming out of that fog can take days, weeks, months or years - but that pace can't be determined by circumstance or guidelines. Everyone has their own velocity of coping, and when they are ready - these steps will be a great guideline. Take your time, and just know - even when it feels like the pain is drowning you, your time for healing will come.

Apologies for this 'deep' blog. Our regularly scheduled program of stuff and nonsense will continue shortly.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

It's On The Internet, So It MUST Be True!


As I enter my not-even-close-to twilight years, I have reached the stage in my life where I compare and contrast the trails I've blazed to.... what the hell are those teens and twenty something's up to now? I've had a few *dozen* conversations of late regarding how easy the 'whipper-snappers' of today have it (I'm on the cusp of 40 and claim the right to use the term 'whipper-snapper' ironically and with quotations). Notably, I was part of a recent rant with a school teacher regarding how the students of the Right-Now Generation have it so easy when it comes to research on even the most vexing of problems. All the thirsty mind has to do it tap-tap-tap and there it is, glowing on the screen-- the Universe. In my youth, I had to do something unheard of. Something so remarkably archaic, it boggles the mind. I had to crack open a book. My step-daughter (and future zygote(s)) will never know the joys of paging though the Encyclopedia Britanica Volume M-P in order to finish social studies report #30 on the Meerkat. They won't have to wrinkle their noses at the slightly musty scent, feel that dry crackle at their finger tips or listen to the soft whisper of paper as they shuffle past those particular leaves of knowledge. It brings to mind that scene in The Time Machine, original of course, when Rod Taylor berates the poor, unsuspecting Eloi for letting their books turn to dust. Will the remake of the remake have our hero smashing a pile of rusted nooks? I wonder.

My family had the ultimate Encyclopedia set - it took up an entire wall in our living room, and it was very, very old. The material was so dated that leaded nipples were still listed as a remedy to quiet baby when fussy (this is real - look it up!). Our set was a garage sale find of my mom's before I was even born, and I'm pretty sure it required a pick-up truck and some heavy back strain to transport the collection from the neighbors garage to our home. Oh -the hours I spent looking up outdated material to throw into my school reports. These were books compiled when ailments such as the dropsies, lumbago and rheumatiz plagued society. To this day, I'm sure my teachers graded me on volume rather than timely content. Even after I left the nest, I would occasionally page through my old friends on my visits back. Imagine my heartbreak when, in the mid-90's, I was informed that the books were disposed of. It was much like I felt when my parents unloaded their massive collection of National Geographic (go ahead and raise your hand if N.G. was your first introduction to soft core porn too. Nice!).

We are now in THE instant gratification society. I could talk about fast-food and microwaves, but all that has been around thickening our wastes and growing alien DNA in our brains for decades. The previous cry of 'I want it now' has not been satiated even close to the degree that we have seen in the last decade. It's all about the world wide web, as it grows bigger, faster, stronger *URL SMASH* The answers to our questions resolved in a quick google search. A person is born, lives, loves and dies right there on a single Wiki page. Entire books are written and lives problems solved in increments of 140 characters or less. We can see our friends from middle school to middle age in a single online photo albumn. This is how we are, and this is where we're going - fast!

A reminder of what www means. World Wide Web. We used to say it before each site link. Then we switched to saying www. We even quit saying that and just started referring to simple titles. We don't really say that either. In fact, it's all old news. Now it's just 'my' this or that. My website or my facebook. Facebook is the network, YOU have a page. The concept that these pages of information reside at a web address of their very own baffles the youth of today. There's no need when all it takes is a single word in a search window to get you to where you want to be RIGHT NOW. Example: when Jonny asked Miss N for her class project url, she said 'There isn't one...type my school name. It's just there'* Future - I'm skeered.

With information coming at us with ease at such high volume, inaccuracy abounds, and the world web of lies has great staying power. That brings me back to my rant with the teacher. Her students are able to get their assignments done at the speed of light, but the students sources are not always validated and their projects are often filled with exciting, and wrong, information. The students are dismayed as they did exactly what they were supposed to do, researched the topic. Points are lost and disappointment is gained. "But, it MUST be true! The internet said so!". Miss N helped to support my point only last week. She informed me with great authority that McDonald's was founded in Europe in the mid-80's. She was SURE she was right because her source was the internet.

My own family was recently effected by the monster of misinformation. The seed of a single press release hitting the newswire resulted in at least a spruce tree of skewed truth branching into several publications, web sites and blogs. They all shared the happy, if not a bit inaccurate, news of a celebribaby and it's would be parents. I had a great deal of e-mails in my box last Wednesday morning, telling me the shocking news that my husband was reported as the father of a star child. Not only was it on the web - but it was in print...in the Strib! Yes, there is a baby to be, yes the mom is thrilled...as is the father that baby-momma happens to be currently, blissfully, married to. And no, my husband is not the baby-daddy.

It's not just the inaccuracy, but it's the speed of which the web of untruth gets spun. It took less than an hour for a hoax regarding Gordon Lightfoot's death to travel from a small site in Canada to nearly a third of the postings on facebook (well, MY facebook homepage...I know a lot of Lightfoot fans). Twitter was flooded with the hoax even faster than facebook - trending topic in 3...2...

There can be retractions for these stories, but there's always a ghost of the lie that remains, floating on the grid. The Encyclopedia came to us at a slow pace. No retractions necessary. New discoveries were made, new volumes were printed. OK, so you had to rely on common sense to throw out the lead 'baby soothers', but that's just about simple evolution right there. Nice and easy. New print comes out, old print gets recycled. The stories of the web, however, still hang out in the blogosphere. There's still stories about the untimely demise of Gordon, and there are are still photos of a celebribaby dad-to-be with my Jonny's name captioned underneath.

The untruth is out there.




*When he typed in the school name as directed...the project was not 'just there' :-D Miss N was completely nonplussed.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I Blame My Mick Mother!


My classmates in grammar school knew me as that weird girl that wore green a lot, had an affinity to cats and was fiercely proud of being Irish. Over the years, the green gave way to black and the cats are of the LOL variety, but the Irish pride is still there.

Growing up, I was surrounded by shamrocks, belleek and statuettes of wee little men with gin blossomed cheeks clutching heaping pots of novelty sized coins of gold. February would start the countdown to my mom's favorite Holiday. She was raised in what was lovingly referred to as the Irish Ghetto of St. Paul - the corridor of Arch and Lyndon. It was an area of refugees and mafia types. This was the nexus that controlled St. Paul. The people that designed the twists and turns of our state capitals roads and put the street cars out of business came from here. It was also home to the Speakeasy's with their secret knocks, ample supplies of tommy guns and bathtub whiskey.

My own mother's history has some areas of gray (or muted green). There was a mob tie, but it was very loose. My grandfather was able to wriggle free by way of being an adoptee into the 'family', and a single father. His sweet little wife had passed after spending over a year in a tuberculosis asylum, leaving him to find an honest living to care for his daughter. He was working class Irish - beaten, poor and a bit of a drunk. Mom remembers a lot of her early childhood sitting at the local pub, hearing tales about the mother country accented with booming, thick brogues. She didn't mind, the stories came with shiny nickels and ice cold bottles of coke.

Though her people were poor, they were also very proud. As with every Irish family with the name Joyce in it's tree, there were rumors that we were related to James himself (even my own husband has gotten caught up in the hype - claiming he sees a resemblance). My mother was entrenched in tradition and each 'St. Patty's' would come with a celebratory brunch of soda bread and irish stew (though I'm not terribly sure how the ancient druids would feel about bright green beer). The bowler hat of buttons saying 'Kiss Me, I'm Irish' and 'It's a big day for wee folk' would be donned and off the adults would go for the famous St. Patrick's Day Parade and Guinness soaked debauch. Even the parade itself had family ties. My own cousin and former mayor (god bless him) was one of the founding fathers of the St. Paul St. Patrick's Day celebrations.

Former Mayor Tom Byrne passed in April of last year. This will be the first year that much of his family will be celebrating St. Pat's without him. Since that St. Patrick's Day in 1967, when Tom carried the shillelagh and led a merry group of revelers out of the Hilton hotel (now the Radisson) and down Kellogg Blvd to the St. Paul Hotel, the people of our state capitol have celebrated their heritage (or pretend heritage, if only for a day). Tom left other legacies: under his leadership, St. Paul became the first city in the nation to pass a human rights ordinance. He was one of the first to adopt a housing law, and when a group of angry residents staged a sit-in at his office in '68, he didn't get the authorities, he got them coffee and doughnuts and listened to their grievances. Even though I laugh about being a 'mafia granddaughter' and sing little ditties about being torn between my orange and my green, it's this part of the family that simply leaves me bursting with pride.

So tonight I dragged my step-daughter into my own traditions. Fabric paint and the appropriate shirt of green was acquired - custom made Irish T by Miss N. will make it's debut tomorrow. I wanted to give her just a little bit of what I had as a child. That strong sense of heritage, of belonging to a special group with a great history. As we painted, she was told the colorful family legacy of the Flaherty's, Barrett's, Joyce's and Byrne's - and dare I say, a good part of it was true.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Just For Fun - Oscar Twitter Feed

Sadly you have to read it bottom to top --- because I'm lazy and tired now.

. RT@jonnyblackout:   


@kellyoxford @ebertchicago: Linda Hamilton is enjoying a cigar and some fine, aged brandy. via web 
Retweeted by you

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@JasonReitman : You have reason to be very proud! :-)

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Well, lost @jonnyblackout for the night. Now he's googling 'naked Helen Mirren'. Thanks @CocoMault :-p
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The ceremony sucked, but the commentary was pure Oscar gold wrapped around chocolate #OscarTweetFest'10
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RT @Alifjack James Cameron was all smiles till he realized he went home with jack sh*t tonight. hahaha sucks to be a brilliant asshole
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Aside from 'Drunken WeHo engagement' & '2nd place best dressed @ Hllywd '06', 'Tweetfest' Oscar Night has been the funnest Oscar Night ever!
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Those Oscars are heavy suckers. I had one wrapped in a sock in a gym bag on my living room floor for a while. It hurts when you kick 'em.
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And they'll all float to the Oscar parties on the tears of James Cameron.
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"I Am Woman" - Really academy orchestra?
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@trixifone: It's okay, he has a hooker, half a pound of blue makeup, and Sandra Bullock's phone #.
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Cameron is already crying in the limo.
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Yup - Still has a chip on her shoulder. Give it up Yentl!
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Oscar history HAS been made - a Razzie and Oscar win in one day!
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RT @Erik_Haltson This testimonial thing is weird. It's like an intervention for people who are addicted to being awesome.
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Don't Blink Oscar nominee!
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Play the Dude off, keyboard cat.
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Yay! RT @jonnyblackout FLYNN WINS!!!!
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And people think that Colin was joking. In rehearsal that speech ended with 'lover'.
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@maxsparber: And that, in turn, sounds like a sex act #firththathill
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@theplate : Random PR dude got a mention for heavens sake. Even her death was overshadowed by M J - Poor Angel. ;-) #Farah
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@jonnyblackout @theplate : And Saturn 3, Canonball Run, Dr. T and the Women... #Farah
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@theplate : Hello - Logans Run! #Farah
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Noms for Best Documentary - Hurt Locker...oops, sorry.
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Snork! RT @jonnyblackout Hey! It's the guy who played me!
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I'm so glad that the Oscars are thoughtful enough to give us this interlude so that we can go refresh our drinks.
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Is there an LA performance of West Side Story woefully missing their performers tonight?
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AGREED! RT @ebertchicago No Farrah Fawcett in the memorial tribute? Major fail.
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@darrenroark: SUPER lame! #farahshun
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Seriously. Did I blink and miss her? They did some PR guy, but not THE poster girl of the 70's? I call Sham! #Farah
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Did they skip Farrah Fawcett? #OscarTribute
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Somebody from Avatar had better thank Roger Dean.
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Eli Roth - had a riveting conversation with him at a party once, then he went and humped part of a bouncy castle #truestory
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@FraggleRockstar : Edward Scissor Hands? Really? Perhaps they just thought 'well, it's Burton, so it must be horror'. #kindaclueless
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So, does a little part of Cameron die when Avatar loses one to another film?
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I think they're a little confused about what 'horror' is.
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Is that the violin music from Young Frankenstien? about 2 hours ago via web

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The genre we always ignor, so we're going to throw them a bone tonight! #Oscars
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@MINIPirate @kitty17kms :I think James Cameron's a douchebag w/vision & no ability whatsoever 2 write dialogue or a storyline w/depth.
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@Erik_Haltson :They don't show us the real sketches...which are on napkins....drawn while they're drunk.
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@maxsparber : That grossed me out a little bit. I don't want to see the 'it' that Oprah touched.

. Bacall, the one that coined the phrase 'Rat Pack'. A fine lady!
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Reitman is getting a lot of camera time....
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Oscar night will always remind me of the night I got engaged...and missed seeing the Oscars. #Oscars
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Well, at least Star Trek won something!
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I think that they gave so many to Carey to present because she looks so adorb! #weelittlepocketperson
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@Erik_Haltson : Only the really BIG ones are fixed ;-)
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Speechus Interuptus #Oscars
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@kitty17kms : Well, so is St. Patricks Day, so they best suck it up! #schoolnight
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Carrie Mulligan - DON'T BLINK! #sallysparrow
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Hah! RT @Erik_Haltson Excuse me, but that's "Samuel L. M#### F#### Jackson," to be correct.
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What a great Oscar moment! The children of John Hughes.
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I was, is, and always shall be a 'duckgirl'. This is lovely. #johnhughes
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'You got a hard-on for trash?' *sigh* #jhughes
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Awww...John Hughes - TEAR!!!!! <3
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Tina Fey must have told her hairstylist that she wanted to look 'excited and full of energy'.
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Robert Downey Jr moment .............. brb............
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@maxsparber : Maybe it's his cute and quirky code for saying he's happy he gave up being with men for her? #rainbows
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So loved District 9! (my fingers are crossed in Indie hopefulness)
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All I really want to see is pretty dresses and who 'kacked it' this year. I'm so deep *sniffle* #Oscars

. Yay! THANK YOU!! @straythenomad found a live stream of the Oscar coverage on ilemi.com.
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Utterly annoyed by lack of live web feed of the Oscars. Yup, we're 1 of those 'no-TV couples' & are VERY snobbish about it (snobbish=rueful)
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Poor Quentin Tarantino - he's totally losing his voice! Diane Krueger - smoking hot old Hollywood look #Oscars

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I've read too many stories about Jennifer Lopez on Bitter Waitress. Even when I see her in a fluffy white gown, all I can think is 'ghetto'.
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It seems like Sigourney Weaver has the smolder of underlying annoyance in her eyes when discussing working with James Cameron. #Oscars
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Morgan Freeman is the epitome of cool. Go Easy Reader! #Oscars
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Tina Fey's 'do' makes her look like she's slightly startled. And Miley Syrus looks beautiful, but she must stop slouching! #Oscar
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Two (well, actually three) of the more noteworthy tweeters to follow during this years red carpet fun - @fuggirls & @ebertchicago #Oscars about 6 hours ago via web

Thursday, January 28, 2010

It's Not You, It's YOU!



Dear Friend,

I know you have been there for me these last few years. You stayed up with me during those late and empty nights for months after he left. My eyes swollen and red from crying, my mind too tired to sleep, my soul too hungry to eat.

You listened to me flutter and gush over the love I discovered in someone who's spirit was always by my side. At the same time, I lamented over another loved one drifting away, wrapped in the layers of a golden veil.

You let me rattle on and on while I felt so isolated in a city that was once familiar but then filled with strangers. You listened to my dreams, my fears, my laughter and bitter rants. There were a lot of bitter rants.

Through you, I've been taught music, art and humor. You've told me some of the best damn gossip well BEFORE it turned into a meme. From you there's also been sadness, and a sense of loss too. You have both lifted my spirits and broken my heart.

I'm telling you all of this because I feel the need to distance myself. Damn, this is so very hard to do. If I shut you out, I shut out what feels like my whole world. I have to be strong though. There has to be a day when I become independent of you. It may not be today, it may not be for months, or even years. As hard as it may be though, that day will come when I am strong enough. I will reach that moment when I snap you shut and walk away - your green light blinking silently and alone into oblivion.

You're a freakin lap-top for heavens sake!

Much Love,
Your Trixi

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Merry I Hate You & A Happy WTF!?!

It's that time of year again. When relatives from near and far gather together at the bequest of Mother 'Everyone-Must-Get-Along' & Father 'Just-Appease-Her-For-One-Day'. People you have avoided seeing all year are suddenly right in front of you, shoving packages decorated with Holly and bitterness. Nothing says the Holidays more than a few spiteful glances over the Christmas Turkey, or an "accidental" singe with a Menorah candle.

No matter what kind of personal woes or tribulations we may be suffering, one is oft requested to hold it at bay while we 'enjoy' the Season. We're crammed within the 4 walls that conceal our childhood dreams where the heat is set at 90 while we itch in our wool reindeer accented personal hells. Our digestive tracks are taxed with both the rich and revolting. The greatest and much mis-managed escape is the ample flow of liquor at our disposal (that is, if Uncle Albert and his Gin Blossoms haven't gotten to it first). Intoxication can be the hot spark that lights the fuse to this bomb filled with tinsel and acrimony.

Much of what is said here is tongue in cheek, but I pull no punches in stating that a family as large as mine (8 siblings with 4 divorces) comes with some angst in the Egg Nog. What is written above is not an accurate portrayal, but the G----- Holiday dinner never fails to be served with at least a side dish of disapproval. Find me a family without even the teensiest bit of disfunction, and I'll find you a group of people in severe denial...OR they're robits.

Not all things about the Holidays are full of resentment and hostility. Most of my happiest memories come from this time of year. They are a fuzzy, rose colored glow scented with peppermint and pine. That feeling of nostalg hits me right between the eyes with every remembered gift. There was the Barbie Dream House that was taller then me, and the powder blue satin Shawn Cassidy jacket (Oh god how I wish I had that NOW!), or the All Muppet Show Christmas - stuffed Kermit and a Miss Piggy hand puppet dressed in lavender.

My own little satellite of a family has changed quite dramatically this year. My exh was from out of state, so our Christmas was always spent with my family. My New and Improved husband ("Now with Respect and A Soul!") was adopted and raised as an only child. He has connected with his own fabulous crew of a birth family AND there's the super bonus of a step-daughter in the mix. That's three new families added to my Jesus Birthday visit list, which causes a bit of sticky widget for me. This year his family wins in the tug of war. Next year, it's back to the lions. The lions that purr as much as they growl.

Maybe next year it'll be Christmas in L.A.

Next - Why 8 Yr Old Me Found Frosty The Snowman Creepy!

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